Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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