Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
