I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
