Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
