White coat. Heels.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
