I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So. Much. Porn.
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