is your mom at the bar?
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
