I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
