the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
