happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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