Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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