My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
