new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
