I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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