Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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