just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
