Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
