Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So much Jack, so little girl.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize