i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
