Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
