I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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