if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
