we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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