I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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