You can't motorboat a personality
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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