i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Randomize
