Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize