Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
