Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
