I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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