I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
