we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I think my moral compass just broke
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
