i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
