and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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