I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
