BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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