What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
