JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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