just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i used baking grease as lip gloss
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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