no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
