You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
