her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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