He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
