I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
