if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
