I have demons in me.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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