idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
