Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
