so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
