i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
