Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize