What a fucking waste of an outfit
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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