its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
How external is "for external use only"?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
