she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
