Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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