On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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