So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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