Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
